Growing up, I was somewhat of a sickly child. I had bad allergies, took antibiotics regularly, was diagnosed with “bronchial spasms” (I now know I was just a child a lot anxiety), and was on different inhalers, nose spays, antihistamines and received allergy shots (weirdest concept ever, btw) for a period of time. By the time I was a teenager I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I was put on Zoloft and Xanax and stayed on Xanax for about 8 years.
I will spare the details, but in 2006 I went through a medical procedure that traumatized me physically and emotionally. Following this incident, I was sick for nearly 4 years. I started gaining weight (up to 40 lbs), couldn’t get out of bed, I had heart palpitations, tight joints, broke out with acne, excessively oily skin and hair, and my menstrual cycle was very irregular. I slipped into a deep depression and was doing whatever I could to numb my pain. I tell you about all this because it was the catalyst to my change. I was driven by desperation to learn the truth, not just about health, but about everything.
And down the rabbit hole I went…
In the beginning I tried it all. Weight Watchers, South Beach, Bob Greene, low calorie, low carb, low fat, vegetarian, master cleanse, etc, etc.
One thing led to another and I eventually discovered raw foods, veganism, natural hygiene and plant-based living. I couldn’t get enough of this information and still to this day indulge in all the knowledge I can. It clicked and resonated with me pretty instantly. I cured all of my ailments, lost weight and never felt confused about what/when/how much to eat. My paradigm of health and the body shifted radically and I will never go on a diet and restrict calories again.
Eating a plant-based diet naturally made me more aware of our body’s natural healing mechanisms. I started questioning the way we treat sick people and our health care system. This led me to look closely at how women tend to give birth since I knew I wanted my own child(ren) one day.
I was 23 and my ideas about the world and everything I had been told was rapidly falling away. My new found pursuits were conflicting with the fact that I had just been accepted into University from community college and was set to get a degree in Communications. I was so conflicted that I felt like I was living a double life. On one hand, all I could think about was learning about this new way of life that made so much sense to my soul. Things that are mostly kept from the mainstream. Things that our culture permeates with so much fear in order to keep people fat, sick, nearly dead, numb and in a docile state. On the other hand, I imagined that I would upset people and disappoint those who were “counting on me” to get that piece of paper. Namely, my parents, but really just my dad.
I don’t know exactly what spoke to me, but that summer before I was supposed to start University was pretty magical. I had experienced enough to have the confidence I needed to go in the direction I was being called. Which I had NO IDEA where that was, all I knew was I couldn’t keep doing what I had been doing since high school.
I dropped my big college plan and did the first thing that sounded fun and exciting: I went to Hawaii on a permaculture internship. From that point on I became what I like to call an “adult unschooler.” For the first time in my life I got to explore and learn about exactly what I wanted to explore and learn about. No classrooms, no rules, no schedules, no deadlines, no homework (mostly).
When I got back from Hawaii I trained to be a doula, I traveled to California and lived in a van, fell in love, studied metaphysics in Guatemala, learned Orgasmic Meditation, went back to California and completed a coaching program, got involved in Authentic Relating, worked in a raw foods cafe, got pregnant, had a baby (at home), blossomed into a mother and now….
Here I am.